Reversal
by ohgeekyone
Summary: What if Rose was the Moroi and Dimitri her Guardian? AU.
1. One

**AN: Hi! This is my first venture into VA fanfiction. This idea sort of popped into my head late one night and I had all these ideas about plotlines and I couldn't sleep until I got some of it down. I don't know if this has already been done (I'm sure it has), but I hope this is interesting nonetheless.**

**I imagine this taking place after Vampire Academy – in the timeframe of Frostbite. Obviously, the roles have been reversed between Rose and Lissa and because of this, other things have obviously changed. I hope it makes sense, but if something is confusing, please let me know – I'm very open to advice etc.**

**Thank you and I hope you all like it! Updates won't be particularly regular but should be somewhat steady since the chapters aren't too long (yet).**

* * *

The start of a new term never filled me with joy. After having spent the summer at my home in London, retuning to Middle-of-Nowhere, Montana was not the most appealing scenario. The fact that it was my final year didn't make it any easier – there was nothing to do at St Vladimir's except play the political game all Royals had to play. Without Sofia, it would be even harder. My heart dropped at the thought of my previous Guardian.

"It'll be fine," Lissa, my best friend, told me, smiling gently. She always seemed to know what I was thinking as well as feeling. "No one expects you to forget Sofia just like that."

Tears burned my eyes as Sofia's name was mentioned. Up until two weeks ago, she'd been my Guardian, the one sworn to protect me and my race with her life. Her death at the hands of the Strigoi who attacked us had proven just how loyal she and her Dhampir kind really were.

I nodded to Lissa so she knew I heard her, but I knew it did no good. I saw her eyebrows draw together as she felt how devastated I was through the bond. The stupid one-way bond that meant she could feel my emotions, even see the world through my eyes. The bond that had formed when I had saved her life two years ago.

Vasilissa Dragomir was a Dhampir, a member of the race that protected us, the Moroi, from any harm that would come to us. She wasn't my Guardian yet, but it was guaranteed that she would be once we graduated – after all, why let a bond like ours go to waste? Besides, I didn't want anybody else guarding me; I didn't trust anyone but Lissa and Sofia…and the latter was gone now.

"Look we're here," Lissa said to distract me from my own sadness. I looked up out the window and saw St Vladimir's Academy towering over us. The place I would call home for one last year. Another year that would surely be filled with hours labouring in a classroom trying to control my element: Spirit. Lissa had been the one to discover that the reason I'd not specialised was because I was a Spirit user – a being who could perform extraordinary acts…but with a price. My 'act' was healing, but over the summer we had discovered what that price was for me: my sanity. And it seemed that the price was also Sofia's life. The irony that I could heal but couldn't save one of my best friends was not lost on me – Sofia may have lived, but I would have completely lost my mind. Lissa wouldn't let me and I knew for a fact that Sofia wouldn't have wanted it either.

The car slowed to a stop outside the doors and I tried to brush my emotions away. I had a part to play in this castle – the part of a Princess, the final member of the Hathaway line. So I plastered a smile on my face, squeezed Lissa's hand one last time, and got out of the car. Sofia was gone and I couldn't dwell on 'what ifs' here as I had been doing for the previous weeks.

"Rosemarie! How wonderful to see you again!" Headmistress Kirova beamed at me from the doorway, although it looked like it took her much more effort to smile than it did to shout us like she usually did. I soon realised the reason for the smile: the school's Governors were here and were looking expectantly between Kirova and I. _What was going on?_

"Miss Hathaway," one of them began, stepping forward slightly. I didn't recognise him but he was surely from a Royal family or at least spoke on behalf of one. "It has come to our attention that you are currently without a Guardian. We'd like to offer you one our best to, er, compensate for the loss of Guardian Dakovra."

It was a miracle I kept the smile on my face with that blow. It wasn't unheard of for Moroi to develop a close friendship with their Guardians, but it was still somewhat unusual. Guardians were disposable to the Moroi and were expected to remain invisible unless requested otherwise. Their insensitive way of telling me that Sofia would be replaced filled me with a sense of dread that this man would never understand if he didn't love his Guardian as I had loved Sofia.

"I'm happy without a Guardian; I have Lissa…" I tried to reason, but as soon as the words were out of my mouth I could see the Governors shaking their heads with disapproving looks on their faces.

"That will not do, Miss Hathaway," the man spoke again, completely dismissing my desires as Royals tended to do. "You are a Royal. Really you should have two. But alas, we are limited. Anyway, Guardian Belikov has already been assigned to you."

With this, he made a hand gesture to one of the many Guardians stood by the doorway. Dressed all in black, a man stepped forward. I blinked in surprise – he was young – older than me, of course, but still young – and incredibly attractive. Dhampirs were always seen as attractive to Moroi, purely because they were so different from us – they were exotic. But this man (he was not a boy, that was for damn sure) was handsome in a different kind of way. Tall, _really_ tall, dark and he had a face that was so…interesting. He looked…wise.

"Miss Hathaway, this is Guardian Dimitri Belikov – your new Guardian. Belikov – this is Rosemarie Hathaway."

I gave him a tight smile and started scowling at Kirova and the Governor. "Really, Lissa can protect me. I don't need, or want, another Guardian. I'll be here all year and I doubt any Strigoi will attack the school."

It was bad, _so so bad_, that I tried to use a little Compulsion in my speech. I didn't dare use it in full on so many people at once, _so many Moroi_, but a little bit wouldn't hurt anyone. _Except me if I used it any more_. I could tell that it was no use anyway when the man's face soured. "Miss Hathway, Belikov is your new Guardian whether you approve or not. Miss Dragomir is not a Guardian yet – she is a Novice." He spat the word out at me like it was poison.

"A Novice who could still kick your—" I heard Lissa growl behind me.

I put out an arm to stop her moving forwards and tried to send calming feelings through the bond. _Play the game, Lissa. You can't get angry with these people – it will do nothing._

"Very well," I sighed to the man, glancing back to my new Guardian. "If you'll excuse me, Lissa and I need to unpack."

With that, I grabbed Lissa's hand and strode into the castle, not looking back to see if Dimitri was following. I assumed he was – that was their job, after all.

We'd only walked a few paces into the hallway when I heard an excited voice call for Lissa. We both whirled to our left to see Mason Ashford, another Dhampir who was crushing badly on Lis, grinning at her.

"Where have you been all my life Vasilissa?" He flirted, gallantly taking her hand and placing a sweeping kiss to it.

Happy that she had someone to joke around with but unwilling to witness, as always, the vast amount of attention she received, I smiled at them both.

"I'll catch you later, Lis. You and Mason have the summer to catch up on and I need to eat anyway."

Lissa looked like she was about to protest since she knew I was still upset over Sofia, but she knew me well enough to know when I needed some time alone.

They both smiled and waved to me as I walked off down the hallway, smiling politely at those who greeted me. I glanced behind to see if Dimitri was following. He was. Realising that I could have offended him before outside the doors, I slowed down to speak to the man who was to be a permanent fixture in my life for the foreseeable future.

"It's nothing personal against you, Guardian Belikov, that I don't want a Guardian. I'm sure you're as adept as they say, but really, I have no desire to be reminded of the fact that I'm weak and vulnerable and in need of protection."

"Of course, Your Highness. And please, call me Dimitri." His voice was deep and smooth with a hint of a Russian accent. It was as attractive as the rest of him.

"Rose is fine too," I replied, throwing a small smile at him. I may not have wanted him there, but the fact was that if we were to ever come across Strigoi, he would give his life to protect mine. That was worth respect, regardless of my childish impudence.

"Rose," he repeated, offering a restrained smile in return.

* * *

**Any comments would be appreciated!**


	2. Two

**Thank you for the feedback! I really appreciated all that you had to say! **

**This story will be a bit angsty at times, since Rose has the Spirit Element and I think her personality would make her more susceptible to it. She's always been self-sacrificing and I think that would definitely come across with her Spirit, if the roles were reversed. Let me know what you think about this?**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

We continued walking towards the Feeding Rooms in silence, only broken when someone shouted hello to me and I responded. Just before we arrived at the rooms, he held the door open for me and commented, "You're popular around here then?"

I shook my head a little. "Popular isn't the right word. Lis and I are…well, people know us…and that's putting it lightly."

He followed me into the room even though I knew it made Dhampirs uncomfortable to be in the feeding rooms. Blood sharing amongst them was considered dirty and while we Moroi had to drink blood to survive, the actualities of drinking the blood of another was still…well, weird. As I observed Dimitri, however, he didn't look particularly uncomfortable or alarmed in any way. In fact, he was simply walking beside me to the room that was available looking exactly as he had since I met him: intense, focused and powerful.

"You know you don't have to stand and watch this," I told him, suddenly feeling like I was the uncomfortable one. He was going to watch me drink blood? _Really_? It seemed sort of intimate for a stranger to watch something like this. The feeder, a human boy named Marc, would be in heaven and, to be honest, so would I.

"If you would prefer me to wait outside…" He motioned behind him, looking completely unfazed.

Feeling silly, I muttered, "I don't mind, I just didn't want you to feel awkward or anything."

He placed himself into what I'd imagine was an "at ease" posture and continued staring at me indifferently. "Blood doesn't bother me, Your Highness."

"It's Rose," I corrected sharply before realising that he was just acting according to his station. "I'm sure it doesn't…"

Lissa was always telling me about how fierce Guardians had to be. Just hearing about her training sessions exhausted me; Moroi weren't supposed to be physically in shape. We were all lanky and shapeless – for us females, that meant no boobs or hips to speak of whatsoever. Mine seemed to be especially narrow and pronounced given the fact that I was distinctly taller than most other girls in my year – a fact which irritated me greatly. I wished I could have been like Lissa – strong, curvaceous and intimidating Lissa who could get a priest to flirt with her if she wanted. Every male within a mile of her seemed to gravitate towards her charm and exotic beauty. I would be the first to admit to jealousy, despite her being my best friend. The only boys who ever spoke to me were Royals trying to form some kind of strong alliance between the families – I would play the part of a Princess, but I would not go above and beyond to play the game. I wanted to be noticed by someone, just once. Even just for friendship, since I knew that no Moroi wanted to fool around with an orphaned Hathaway who, if she used her powers too much without practice, would eventually turn insane, and whose only friend was cooler and more interesting than her in every way.

It was an issue.

Looking away from Dimitri and trying to pretend that he didn't exist, I bit gently into Marc's wrist, nearly moaning when the blood hit my tongue. It had been far too long since my last feeding; I couldn't risk not keeping up my strength when practising Spirit as much as I was. I heard Marc sigh in contentment as the endorphins rushed over him. _At least we were both enjoying it_, I thought.

Pulling away when I heard his heart beat splutter a little trying to compensate for the blood loss, I wiped my fingers over my mouth to rid myself of any leftover blood. I spun around to find Dimitri watching the exchange with the same focused look he always seemed to wear.

I stood up, brushing my skirt off, and thanked Marc with a smile which he returned with great excitement. God, my life was strange.

* * *

"So I assume you're from Russia, Dimitri?"

We were walking back to the same dorm I had occupied for years with Lissa, him walking slightly behind me like all Guardians of Royals seemed to do. It upset me a little that they did this – he was my equal in many ways and my superior in many more. I slowed down a little so we could walk side by side, like Lissa and I always did and like Sofia and I.

He nodded once. "Yes, from Baia."

I nodded along even though I didn't have a clue where that was.

"I bet it was even colder there than it is here. And with even less to do," I commented idly, thinking about how Liss and I could have a day trip to a mall in a few weeks for a spot of shopping. It used to cheer me up when I was younger – maybe it would pull me from my grief a little.

A hint of a real smile crossed his face but was gone before I could really consider it. "You could say that, Your Highness, yes."

I was about to huff, "It's Rose" again when I decided against it. He would learn soon enough, being around Liss and I as he would be.

"How did you end up looking after the last Hathaway?"

I said it as off-handedly as I could. _The Last Hathaway_. My eyes stung with tears at the thought. No family. Nobody to walk me down the aisle. No grandparents to my children on my side. No uncles or aunts. Nobody. Just me and Lissa.

_Do not cry, Hathaway. Suck it up._

"The Council asked me to," he replied somewhat warily. I supposed it wasn't my business how he ended up stuck with me anyway.

Changing the subject, I asked where he would be staying in the castle.

"Just down the hall from your room, so I can be at your side in an emergency."

I nodded; it was usual for Guardians to always be close to their Moroi. That was why Lissa and I would be so great together (besides the bond) – we were best friends anyway. She would always be around me to make me laugh, keep me sane and keep me safe. Hopefully, I could repay her for everything she had done and everything she would do in the future. Somehow.

"I will not be present for some days, however, Your Highness," he continued. "I have been charged with teaching Dhampir classes every so often and will be occupied with those for some hours of the week. You will always be protected, though, so do not fear that."

I raised my eyebrows. "They said you were good but being unleashed on Vampire Academy's students? You really must be brave."

He didn't respond to my comment but then I hadn't expected him to; it was becoming clear that he didn't speak unless he had something to say. That was okay – I needed to build my social skills back up before term started anyway.

"Go easy on Lissa; she's had a hard time of it looking after me." I said it jokingly, but when his expression did not lighten, I realised that he already knew that – he'd read my file. Of course he had.

"Apparently, you do not need to worry. I have heard she is more than an adequate Novice; the best, I have heard." He sounded impressed and for some reason, it bugged me. She always inspired awe and admiration from everyone; all I inspired was fear that my Element would eventually lead to my death, or even worse to turning Strigoi.

I smiled sardonically, my mind tapping into that dark place inside myself that I rarely went. "Lissa is great at _everything_ she does and people _always_ notice."

If he picked up on my comment borne out of tiredness, grief and petty jealousy, he didn't give any indication. I would have apologised and taken the comment back, but it was too late and I doubted that he'd care anyway. 'Silly schoolgirl friendships', as Kirova had once called our relationship, were not on his list of priorities, I was sure.

Arriving at my door, I turned to face him again and only then realised how close he was. I cleared my throat and took a step back – Sofia had never been that close at the start, had she?

"I'm going to unpack and then sleep, so I'll be in here for the rest of the evening. You can go and do whatever you'd like, Comrade." I'd learnt quickly, years ago, that if a Moroi did not do something to dismiss their Guardian, the Guardian would continue to stay outside a room until their replacement came or until their Moroi needed their company once again. After I'd found a young Sofia stood outside my bedroom door one morning looking beyond tired, I'd been quick to dismiss my Guardian as quickly as I was able for the rest of Sofia's life.

Dimitri nodded, bowed a little and began to walk away from me. At the last minute before he turned the corner, he looked back and said in his ever mysterious and powerful voice, "I have heard you are also more than adequate at your own skill, so it seems you too are good at the things you do. There are different kinds of greatness, Your Highness. Have a nice evening."

And then he strode around the corner as if that wasn't the most praise I'd received from anyone since my parents had died.


	3. Three

**AN: This chapter is a bit angsty - I promise the story will be a bit lighter as it goes. The point of this is to show that Spirit while being pretty helpful, has very negative consequences.**

**Anyway, despite the angst, I hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

I awoke to someone knocking on my door.

Groaning and heaving myself out of the warm and cosy bed, I crossed barefoot to the door, grumbling the whole way. Glancing over to Lissa's bed, I saw it unmade and then remade messily, meaning that she'd come in last night and had already left. _To train_, I thought. _She's mad to train on a Sunday. It's Sunday._

"This better be good, Liss," I muttered as I opened the door with a glare.

It wasn't Lissa.

"Good morning, Your Highness," Dimitri said, sounding more awake than someone should be on a Sunday morning. "I'm sorry I woke you."

His eyes scanned my body from top to bottom as he said it, as though he only just realised that I would be in bed. The silk pyjama set wasn't considered scandalous for Moroi, who could pull off designer clothes better than the humans who wore them on a catwalk. Yet when his eyes seemed to linger disapprovingly on the hemline of the shorts, I huffed a little.

"It's _Sunday_," I complained a little, needing some sleep. "Sunday mornings are for lie-ins and big breakfasts and crap television and lazy sex and—"

I hadn't meant to say it. Mentioning sex in front of a Council-approved Guardian wasn't the classiest of plans and certainly not appropriate to someone I had just met. I blamed it on being tired and being woken up, which always made me irritable. Lissa always told me that I was like a child – if I was hungry or tired, it was best to stay away.

Dimitri didn't even blink. "Apologies, Princess. Breakfast is being served in the Hall."

I almost groaned with dread. Spending my Sunday morning entertaining the masses of Moroi Royals wasn't something I ever looked forward to, especially not without Sofia by my side. Still, it was my job. _Plaster on a smile, turn on the charm, Rose._

I nodded to my new Guardian, yawning. "I'll be ten minutes."

* * *

It was packed full. The Hall could not have fit any more students into it if it tried.

Dimitri and I stood by the doors, waiting for me to man up and go in. Taking a deep breath, drawing my shoulders back and placing the classic smile that I'd been known for before summer, I entered the hallway.

A few people smiled and greeted me, some girls even coming up to talk to me while I tried to locate Lissa.

"How was your summer?"

"Is it true about the attack?"

"What classes do you have this term?"

"Did Sofia really die?"

"I heard it happened in the middle of London!"

"I heard it was your fault."

The last one made my head snap around to look at Mia Rinaldi – a Moroi who was only a year younger than me but still managed to make me feel like a five year old. That was before summer. Now it seemed she had the ability to make me feel like a murderer.

My eyes narrowed. Where the _hell_ did she hear that? "Excuse me?" I snapped harshly, packing as much glare into my eyes as possible.

The others had gone quiet as soon as Mia had spoken up. There was a rivalry between Mia and I and had been since it had been decided that I'd marry Adrian Ivashkov – the older Moroi who Mia had been crushing on since she was a freshman. I didn't even really know Adrian – all I knew was that he was a Royal and our parents had been friends. I'd only ever met him twice and both times had been before I was ten years old. It seemed silly that Mia would be so bitter over what was just politics and the Moroi way, but that didn't stop me from getting angry over it.

"I said—"

Cutting her off, I stepped closer to her. "I heard what you said. What I meant was, excuse me, but who the hell do you think you are?"

I could feel it. The darkness that always returned when I was feeling insecure or angry or upset. It always came back, no matter how many lessons I had to control my Spirit. It was a part of me that the Spirit seemed to unleash.

I hated it. But at the same time… I loved it. The power it gave me. The strength I felt coursing through me whenever I let my feelings turn dark.

Mia scoffed, not in the least bit fazed. "I heard you wandered off into the city, into a known Strigoi area, without telling a single person. Apparently, not even Lissa could find you with that freak-show bond you guys have. I heard it was your fault that we lost four Guardians."

If I was Lissa, I would have taken her out right then, consequences be damned. But I wasn't Lissa and I couldn't fight with my fists.

So I smirked condescendingly at Mia. "Run along, little girl. The grown-ups want to talk." And then I zeroed in on the boy next to her, the boy who had spent all summer in the same city as me and the boy Mia was practically in love with. "Hey, Aaron. We should get together again, soon. Have dinner again like over summer?" I didn't use compulsion, but I turned the Hathaway charm on his full blast.

He was a goner.

"Sure, Rose, I'd love that. How about next we—"

"Sounds great," I muttered, having spotted Lissa…coming straight for us.

"Punching above your weight again, Mia?" Lissa snapped at her scrunched up face that had turned red with anger.

"I'll punch something," she spoke bravely, standing up. She didn't even reach my shoulders.

I laughed at her, glancing around at her friends who watched the exchange with varying expressions of shock. "Stop bothering these people, Mia, they're trying to eat. Nobody wants you here."

I would like to say that I didn't mean to use compulsion, but that would be a lie. I wanted her to hurt as she'd just made me hurt, take away the things she loved most in the world like that had been taken from me. She shouldn't have reminded me of it. She should have just stayed quiet.

I didn't use it on mute like I had to Kirova the day before. This was turned on high.

The people at her table couldn't get away quick enough, all muttering about how they weren't even sure why they were sat with her in the first place. Mia's frown fell as her face turned to one of confusion and desperation.

"Rose," Lissa muttered beside me, grasping onto my hand. "What did you do?"

I blinked slowly, opening my eyes to look at her, except they were immediately drawn to Dimitri's face. His indifference was gone. He looked… stunned. Had he seen the compulsion? Would he have recognised it for what it was? I suddenly felt lighter and…guilty. Mia was just being Mia and usually when this happened, I spouted off some witty comments to derail her. I'd never before done something like this. Once Liss had my hand and I was looking at Dimitri's shocked face, I regretted what I'd done.

_No you don't_, the dark part of myself whispered accusingly. _You loved it._

I couldn't take my eyes off his face. He looked concerned, shocked, worried and even…angry. At me? I responded, albeit shakily and without fervour, to Lissa without looking at her.

"Only what she deserved."

* * *

Later, I sat outside the main building on a bench, watching the students mill around. Lissa was in a Dhampir meeting regarding assessments this term and had left me with a disapproving and worried shake of her head. I knew she'd felt the darkness creeping up on me, but we hadn't found a way that wasn't sedation to stop it, or at least slow it down. Lissa loved me too much to sedate me – she thought that we'd be able to find a way to calm me down without the use of medication. I was less optimistic.

"What was that?" Dimitri had left my side for a short while, going to teach a defence class after the incident in the hall. It was a Sunday, but they often held classes for those wanting extra classes.

I turned to look up at him slowly. I decided to play dumb. "What was what?"

He didn't even dignify that with a response.

I sighed, returning to look at the courtyard and running a hand over my face. "She should have known better than to bring up the incident over summer."

I assumed he'd heard about it. Everyone else had. Four Guardians' death is a big deal – the incident would be remembered for years.

"You should not have done what you did."

"And what exactly did I do? Mia's personality is enough to scare anyone off, even the few friends she's made."

"That's not what happened and you know it, Your Highness. It may not be my place to say it, but I have read all about your Element. You should not be using it to settle petty rivalries."

I snapped my head to look at him in disbelief. "Petty? What happens between Moroi in high school stays with them throughout their political careers. The friendships we make and the enemies – both are formed in school, Guardian Belikov. Mia shouldn't have brought it up, and I made sure she knew not to do it again. Now or ever."

_He's right, Rose. You shouldn't have done anything. You should have just been the better person like you always are. Lissa's the strong one, you're the weak one in need of protection._

"It…was not fair." Dimitri sounded like he was trying to find the words to chastise her without overstepping the boundaries. After all, he was my Guardian now, and a new one at that.

Laughing sadly, I replied, "Life isn't fair, Comrade."

"I am sure your friend Vasilissa would have defended you, had you given her the chance." His voice was little bit less judgemental then, which made me feel a bit less like crap.

"She shouldn't have to," I responded, looking up at him again. "Lissa would throw herself in front of any enemy I faced… but she shouldn't have to, as long as I can do something about it. And I can certainly do something about Mia Rinaldi."

His face remained the same but he shook his head. "It is our job to defend you."

"Not when I can defend myself," I countered.

"That comes with a price, Your Highness."

I paused, feeling my stomach flip at the idea of him knowing of my…illness.

"If my Element could mean that you guys don't have to step in for me, I'll use it as much as I want, regardless of the consequences."

Silence reigned, then. I think he finally understood what I was saying – my power and the repercussions it came with were nothing to me if it meant I could defend myself. If I could defend myself, it would mean that they didn't have to do it for me. It would mean that nothing like what happened to Sofia would _ever_ happen again.

"You cannot risk your own health for high school arguments."

"I had to."

"No, you did—"

I snapped. He had no right; he didn't understand. "I had to defend Sofia, Guardian Belikov!" I stood up, unleashing every bit of anger and remorse that coursed through my body in that moment. "Nobody will ever tarnish her name or her memory in front of me and I was making sure Mia and everybody else in that Hall knew it. My sanity to defend her name? My sanity to defend her skill as a Guardian? It's a small price to pay, don't you think?"

I saw his eyes soften, but I couldn't bear to look at him anymore. He was like a conscience that I did not need right then. "I'm leaving to find Lissa. You are free for the day, Guardian Belikov."

And then I walked off with my head held high. I would not let him make me feel guilt or remorse over what I just did – I was feeling guilty enough without some guy I'd just met making it worse. If I could defend Sofia, I would. If I could ever defend Lissa, I would. And if this Element meant that I would end up like Ms Karp, then so be it.

_Maybe I deserved it for what I did to Sofia. Mia was right – it was all my fault._

* * *

**Aaaaaand the angst is done for now. Thanks for reading!**


	4. Four

When Lissa barged into our room later, I knew she'd felt everything through the bond.

"You need to stop with the powers, Rose," she exclaimed, not beating around the bush. "They are destroying you from the inside out and you need to just _stop_! And you can pretend that you're fine with what happened all you want, but I know you're not. I felt it."

I looked over at her from the bed I'd collapsed on when I'd escaped to the solitude of our room. What could I say? She could only feel the emotions I went through when I used them – she couldn't hear the thoughts that made me think I deserved this for what I did to Sofia. She didn't know that in a horrible, twisted way, I liked being able to control people. To heal people if need be. I wanted to help so many people with this gift that everyone kept trying to smother – including my best friend. Why did nobody realize that it might be a good thing to practice this skill outside of a classroom?

"I'm fine, Liss, I promise."

"No you're not!" She exploded. "There was such…darkness coming from you today, it was like I didn't even know you! You need to stop letting them rule you. You are stronger than your powers, Rose. Much stronger."

I smiled a little at the faith she had in me. "It doesn't feel like it sometimes… Sometimes… I just want to use them all the time. If they're going to make me insane if I use them sparingly on stupid things like Mia Rinaldi, then surely I should be using them for better things, y'know?"

She shook her head. "You shouldn't be using them at all. Ever."

I threw her a look that echoed my words. "They're the reason you're still alive, Lissa."

"I didn't ask for that!"

I jerked a little as though she'd hit me. Her job in life was to make sure I survived, and she was mad at me for doing the same? She was my best friend, my sister – I would always make sure she was alive and happy. I wasn't sure I could live without her since she was the only one who could actually understand what I was going through with this Spirit thing – she was right there alongside me, feeling everything as I felt it.

She clearly saw the sad look on my face as I considered the repercussions of _not_ saving her. She sighed with regret. "I didn't mean it like that."

I nodded slowly and she came to sit by me, placing her hand over mine in a way that was both soothing and loving. "I just hate seeing you become someone that you're not, Rose. You've always been the funny, charming Hathaway – that's the friend I love. This person… This isn't you. Sofia wouldn't have wanted you to be like this. _I_ don't want you to be like this, and I'm sure you and your parents don't want it either."

It was the truth she'd clearly been bottling up for weeks. Nobody else would have used my parents' memory or Sofia's memory to guilt trip me into something, but Lissa would. Only Lissa cared enough to.

"You're right," I sighed, throwing myself back onto the bed. "I won't do it again."

"Anything?" She clarified, folding her arms in an 'I mean business' manner. "No Spirit at all?"

I hesitated. "Not outside of class, unless someone is in dire need of it."

I could see that she was about to protest again so I grabbed her wrist and pulled her beside me onto the bed. "That's as far as I'm willing to go right now, Liss."

* * *

The next few days passed in a blur of classes, feeding and socializing with people Liss and I didn't particularly want to talk to. Mia had seemed to understand my message, along with the rest of the school, and summer was not mentioned again by anyone. I didn't even see Mia in the next few days, but I heard from Lissa that she was beyond angry at me – no surprises there, then.

Dimitri hadn't really spoken to me beyond the normal pleasantries Guardians shared with their charges: Good morning, Princess. I hope you are well, Princess. I think you're an evil bitch for what you did to that girl, Princess.

Okay, so the last one wasn't what he'd said outright to me, but I could tell that was what he thought. It was in his stern eyes that always regarded me with coldness, the solemn set of his lips, the indifference all over his face rather than the politeness he'd held for me when we had first met.

I hated that it made me feel so bad. I did what I had to do and it worked – nobody was bothering me or Lissa anymore. So why did I feel like I'd done the worst thing I could have done? Did he think me weak for protecting myself against Mia? Did he not know that if Mia could have done the same, she'd be parading up and down the corridors like a Queen? To defend Sofia's memory, I would have done anything.

By Friday, I was ready for a break from classes already. Five days into school and I was already exhausted from smiling constantly, and flirting with the right Royals and practicing Spirit in doses so small it felt like I was accomplishing absolutely nothing. I dragged my feet out of the Element classroom and headed down the hallway to our dorm. Dimitri, as always, kept a close distance between us so that he wasn't invading my personal space but was close enough to defend me from any attacks. Not that I would be attacked physically in this school – all the fighting here was with words, and occasionally (between hormone-ridden boys in competition with each other) with Elements.

I opened the door with a tired sigh, already looking forward to flopping onto my bed. But first…

"Thank you Dimitri. Have a nice evenin—"

I stumbled backwards into his chest, gasping, my hand immediately going to my mouth to suppress a shout of horror.

There, written on the wall next to my bed, bright red and still dripping, was one word.

_Murderer_.

* * *

**I promise the romance is coming soon! Just need to set up a scenario for the two of them... **


End file.
